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Another weekend. Current location: Milan.

Woke up this morning to a sunny morning. Flipped left and right on the bed, mind wandered. Just recently downloaded a game called Cryptogram and played for a good 30 minutes. Crawled out of bed lazily because I don’t have much planned for myself today. Did some yoga, listened to some music, and ready to go lake union from lunch.

And then, one of my colleagues told us that a colleague’s dad just passed on and she’s on her way back home.

Hmm.

Then I’m on my way to grab lunch. Trying out a new place, all by myself. It requires a little of walking and I’m not sure if it’s gonna be good, or even if it’s gonna be opened (learned my lesson yesterday, not only Italian restaurants have ciesta, they have summer break, so have a few backups restaurants to try because it might be closed during summer). And then, got me to think about life, a question that I constantly ask myself, though I know there’s never a certain answer for it.

Life is so general and personal. Everyone has one, but everyone’s different.

Life is so tough and fragile. It likes to throw so many challenges to us, yet it could be all gone the next moment.

Life is such that, we know we will never get out of it alive, and we take it for granted.

Life, you could totally live your life the way you want, simply because it is yours.

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Let me begin this post with, I am writing the girls’ trip to Milan (Day 3) tomorrow.

I’ve learned this from a book called Eat the Frog or Eat the Frog first, something like that. It’s a book about overcoming procrastination, by tackling the most difficult task FIRST. So here I am, tackling this once-was-the-easiest-task-but-it’s-now-totally-not task — posting on time and committed to complete by far the most re-scheduled tasks in my journal.

I’m supposed to do the girls’ trip today. But I didn’t. I could have used the time now to draft that instead of this, but I choose to do this. Which made me realized, I’m more motivated to post inspirational/ motivational/ lesson-learned kind of posts compared to travelogue or reviews. Maybe it’s for me to narrow down to a few topic that truly inspires me, rather than juggling too many balls at the same time.

I’d like to dedicate this post to a friend of mine. Technically, she was more known to me as my friend’s girlfriend. Although I have met her a few times, we didn’t have the opportunity to talk to each other on a more personal level. She was several years younger than me, but she passed away due to dengue recently. I didn’t know dengue could be so deadly and it happened so fast and so unexpectedly.

Needless to say, the incident leaves my friend an unimaginable impact. Who would have guessed this? A little girl passed away at her twenties just like that. Life is so fragile. Was my first thought.

I met up with this friend yesterday, slightly a month after the incident. My intention was to check on him, see how’re things going on his side. Obviously, I wouldn’t expect to see him happy, but as a friend, I want to show support. I tried to be extra careful with my choice of word, I rehearse at least 2 times everytime before I say something. I know any kind of question or word will trigger his sadness. I mean, there really isn’t anything I could do to help someone feel better in this kind of situation.

After the conversation with my friend, here are my thoughts:

  1. Be the supportive friend and family, especially at times like that.
  2. Sometimes less is more. It’s applicable to words too.
  3. Memories could either heal or kill a person.
  4. We need to tell ourselves we don’t need to experience to learn.
  5. Quality is always more important than quantity.
  6. Live life to the fullest and don’t give yourself any chance to regret.

Things that we have been told over and over again, by the wise, by the experienced, yet, they don’t hit us until the very moment things occur. Let’s not take anything or anyone for granted. Biggest lesson learned today. And that is the lesson to be remembered for life.

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In less than a month and I’m here reducing my posting frequency.

Initially I had this almost-completed post about blogging, like how I started, how things changed and hence my blogging habit changed.. How I tried to follow my newly set-up posting schedule and why it doesn’t work out.. And then, I realize, at the end of the day, I’m just rambling and the content is kind of a waste of time – I’m giving myself excuses in not completing tasks that I want to do. So I deleted that post.

First of all, I’d like to apologize for not following my posting schedule. I already knew it was gonna be challenging for me because I am bad in time management. Plus, I kinda lost touch with posting after created so many kind of layout for myself because I wanted things to look tidy and organized. I forgot how to be random. It feels like there are invisible guidelines or rule that I need to follow before I could start posting. I too, feel like I’m talking to people, instead of talking to myself (although there might be no one reading), hence I will need to think of what to say because, hello? People’s reading, and I can’t be living all in my world, right? In another word, I’ve lost the random self. Please bare with me while I’m still searching that random self.

Well, this could be a incredibly long post, which I do not want it to, because I already see not much content in this post. I just wanna put this out, to apologize (in case there is any audience) for not following what I’ve promised to do, which is 2 posts a week. I’m sorry. I have introduced so many hobbies to myself recently that I did not dedicate enough time for me to blog. And again, I’m bad at time management. And I do not want to choose one hobby over another because I’m actually liking things that I’m calling them hobbies now. I’d like to share more on those hobbies here, in my blog, in the near future. In the meantime, I’ll post as frequent as I possibly could, because I still like to share, just that there won’t be 2 posts weekly, every Tuesday and Friday. No posting schedule is also part of the random self? Who knows by doing that I’ll be able to find the random self and then I’ll post more frequently? =D *fingers crossed*

Once again, thanks for tuning in. I wish whoever is reading this an awesome day ahead! Good day and see you again soon! =)

Till then!

 

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As much as I’d like to stick with schedule, it is not easy, for one simple reason, inspiration does not come in schedule. However, it is do-able, I just need to be more committed, and observance (affirmation for myself), and turn things around me into inspiration.

So, today is another work day for me. As I still had a little time to buffer, I went to food court for breakfast before reporting. I don’t normally take lift because the food court is just one level below my office. You know sometimes when you enter a lift that is crowded, like everyone is trying to get from the most bottom level to the highest, then they saw you enter just to travel one level up (or down), the kind of look they give you as if you’ve done something awful (which by the way, I think it’s awful too..). Anyway, it wasn’t crowded today, no, to be precise, a lift arrived right in front of me and everyone was getting out from the lift, and no one was waiting for the lift. So I made a quick decision, to take the lift.

As I walked towards the lift, as I said, everyone was getting out, I saw this old gentleman, pushing his trolley, walked out from the lift, very slowly. He appeared to be frail, that’s why he was walking very slowly, which it seemed like the lift door was shutting right behind him. Then, he turned around to press the lift button, to hold the lift for me. It happened in split second, but it has made an impeccable impression on me, which became the inspiration of this post.

Jeff Bozos, CEO of Amazon said “Cleverness is a gift, kindness is a choice”. Mark Twain said kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. And there is also this popular saying of the world is full of nice people, it you can’t find one, be one. I’m sure you’ve heard of one of these sayings in your lifetime. However, it takes another level for one to actually do it. And the gentleman did it. It might be something small for him (turning around and press a button), but it was something to me (I might miss the lift and have to wait for another one or take the escalator instead, which of course, not a big deal). What I’m trying to say is, the gesture of this gentleman, shows that kindness is at every corner, and it is up to us to discover, and appreciate it. If we choose to ignore them, the kindness, we will never find one. If a frail gentleman could do that for a stranger like me, could we, the self-claimed able-bodied do more for others? Sure we could. But it is a choice. Being kind is a choice. And it’s the matter of how we choose.

I quickly thanked the gentleman before the lift door shut.

Let me end this post with a quote from AESOP:-

No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.


Thank you for making the world a better place, sir.

Till then!

 

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Hi there.

First of all, I’d like to thank you for clicking the link and take your precious time reading this. Hah! Sounds like writing one of my work e-mails. Because it’s basically showing gratitude towards everything and everyone. Wait. Isn’t that how life suppose to be?

OK. Let’s go back to today’s subject.

I.am.babytopaz. I’ll try not to divert too far from the subject, which if you know me, I tend to do that very often and very easily.

So, let’s begin.

Perhaps I’ll move this post to a separate page one day, something titled About Me, but as I’m still pretty new to the community, it’s only right for me to introduce myself, officially.

Babytopaz, is not my name, if you wonder. It’s the nickname I got myself years ago because I didn’t feel like revealing too much personal details on this platform where things could go out of control sometimes. Goods and bads. You could name all the goods about the internet but it doesn’t make the bads better.

Baby: Because I like to be called ‘baby’. Because baby is the pure and innocent though they could be handful at times. Because ‘baby’ sounds cute.

Topaz: There are 2 birthstone for the month of November; Citrine and Topaz. And ‘topaz’ sounds better with ‘baby’ to me.

So yea. Babytopaz.

Be yourself, everyone else is taken.

I’ve read this quote somewhere sometime ago. And I remember loving it the moment I read. Then it popped up again to me recently. And while I was pampering myself with massage yesterday, well, I thought I was suppose to relax my mind to enjoy the massage to the max, my mind couldn’t stop running. So instead of resisting, I chose to take a look at what’s going on in my mind.

It was like a few channel playing in my head at the same time. So I tried to get things organized by categorizing them, and then tackle them one by one. One of the things that was running in my mind was this, my blog.

It started with I got to really into YouTube videos last November. I started with makeup and then some Facebook post introduced me to the world of bullet journal. So I went on YouTube and start watching videos about it. Since then, my YouTube homepage is filled with makeup channels and bullet journalling videos. I thought all I was learning was makeup skills and decorating journals. But it was so much more.

As much as I enjoy being inspired by all the successful people on YouTube, whether it’s their makeup skills or their creativity in journals, I was inspired to inspire. I wish I could be one of them, bringing positivity to the world, sharing thoughts, and create happiness to people who watch or read them. I used to post in another blog, where I shared my everyday stories, but it did not have a theme, so my readers were mainly my family and friends (because I don’t update Facebook status or Tweet so often that report my daily movement). So I created this blog. The initial idea was to blog with a theme (or themes) that would attract readers, people with same interests. I have yet to delete my old blog although most of the posts don’t mean much to me anymore (those are still my history and reasons I am who I am today), some of the posts still mean so much to me (I like to have it somewhere so when I’m feeling sentimental, I could go back to it). If you scroll back far enough, you will be able to see posts from years ago.

And then, I came up with a few categorise or topics that I’d like to share in the blog; Movies and Makeup/ Beauty, and a format to stick to (I like things look organized and neat). Because people have so much to comment on everything and people rely so much on reviews nowadays before going to cinema or making a purchase, I thought I would be one of them who shares my review. In that way, I could inspire and it would sound cool (to influence people based on things that I said).

I thought it was a cool idea and I was motivated at the very beginning. I would take pictures, do makeup swatches, insert ingredients, include movie summaries, try to give every info I could find on the internet to ‘complete’ my posts and feel like a pro. But this practise did not last me for more than a month.

As I was having my massage yesterday, I thought of posting another post, on a movie I watched about a month ago. I love it so much and I wanted to write something about it. But the thought of having to look into the details (which I don’t personally enjoy so much doing it), I kept that task open yet uncompleted. And then I watched more movies which I love all of them, and now I left with more open yet uncompleted tasks.

So I thought, is that something I really want? Dragging myself to post with the format I’d like to follow but don’t enjoy doing it, because I wanna inspire others, which I can’t even inspire myself?

I mean, I totally respect bloggers who to do their researches before throwing something out. It is a lot of work yet they are determine to give as much as they could as long as they think it helps and inspires. But I need to start posting first! If I can’t even sit down and start posting, it’s pointless to talk about helping and inspiring. I might not be sharing makeup ingredients or movie summaries from the official websites, but I’ll be sharing my review on products I’ve tried or movies I’ve watched, and everything in that post will be my words, instead of some copy and paste facts which could be found elsewhere on the internet. Does it make sense?

Then this is going to become like my old blog.I thought.

Not necessarily. I just need to be more specific, by knowing the subject of my posts and stay focused, instead of reporting everything without any direction. Yes, be specific and stay focused is the key.

Oh ya, did I mention I’ll be posting every Tuesday and Friday? Because it’s important to have a schedule too. Topics would be on things that I find interesting in my life. Anything, that I find interesting.

So yea, that’s about it. I knew this is going to be a lengthy one because that’s the way I tell stories, there was even a story behind why it is I.am.babytopaz instead   of just babytopaz itself. Just imagine that.

Thank you once again for staying around, and read until this very point. We shall see how things go and there might be (very likely) changes from time to time (just like the concept of bullet journal) for a simple reason; change is the only constant. Feel free to comment anytime and any constructive feedback would be very much appreciated. I’m so excited for this. Till then!

 

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There is a story behind every smile. (And I thought I posted something similar before).

Correction. There is a story that you will never know behind every smile.

As that is a life you didn’t not live through.

As people only see what they want to see and believe what they want to believe.

Well, there is nothing wrong with that, everyone has a life and you are already too busy living your life and how could you live the other person’s life but that’s exactly the point too. You are so busy with your life so it is unfair to say that you can understand another person’s life. Period.

 


 

So, this is the 4th time I enter this post to edit before I could complete it. (I hope I could complete it this time). It’s either I was not inspired, or I am getting weaker and weaker in expressing myself.

Smile. Yes. I was saying there is a story behind every smile.

Cause every time when I see you smiling, I kinda see a story behind it.

It used to be happy ones, but it changed recently.

I know why but I don’t really know why.

Like I briefly know why but I don’t know exactly.

I do not wanna ask because you will tell if you want to.

There are already million things in your mind and I do not wanna add another one.

I just wanna let you know, that don’t worry, I’ll be here.

I might not know but I know you’ve already done everything you could.

Cause you will not give anything except for your best.

It’s okay to be tired and it’s okay to wanna take a break.

It’s okay to do only what you could and leave the rest to others. Because even superman need to sleep. Let some other save the day while you recuperate.

Because we are only human and it’s just too much for one to bare.

Because you deserved to be happy.

 


 

Smile. Because you look so cute when you do.

Laugh, only when you feel happy.

I really really do like to see you smile, and knowing the story behind your smile is a happy one.

Xoxo.